spiders and turkeys

On Sunday the turkeys attacked. They must have known that the day of judgment was coming, when we butcher two of them for Christmas dinner.

We had just returned from buying our Christmas tree. We buy our trees at a tree farm, so this one was freshly chopped, which meant some shaking out of dead needles and spiders is necessary. As my dad was shaking the tree, we were all watching agape as hundreds of spiders fell out. My dad, who lost nearly a month of work over a spider bite that forced him to have a large chunk of his leg removed and almost put him in the hospital, was taking no chances. He got the hose and began spraying down our tree. We were all distracted watching him when all of a sudden my dad started sputtering and pointing at the house. Finally he managed to choke out words. "Help! The house! The door!" I glanced at the house. The front door was hanging open. This happens regularly because the latch is loose, but I really couldn't figure out why he was so upset. It was only raining a bit, and he wouldn't normally pitch a fit about the rain. I glanced at my dad again who was still pointing and sputtering. "Turkeys! In the house!"

What on earth? I dashed inside and glanced down the hall. Sure enough, my dog Jake was in the process of herding a very unhappy looking turkey towards the door.

"Good dog," I said, trying to take over. Jake was not finished yet. As my brother came running to grab the turkey from the doorway, Jake made a desperate grab towards the turkey. It was his turkey, didn't we see that? He was doing just fine with the turkey removal job. Why weren't we letting him work?

My brother grabbed the turkey just in time, and Jake was left spitting out a mouthful of turkey feathers.

Crisis averted, I glanced at the turkey poo all over the hall. Gross. But just as I was heading to get something to clean it up with, my dad hollered something about a second turkey. There, hiding behind a pile of laundry by my parents' bedroom door was another turkey. Jake and my little sister made a mad dash towards the turkey. I made a mad dash towards Jake. I got to Jake before he got to the turkey and grabbed him by the collar. Lil'bit threw the turkey outside and we surveyed the damaged. Feathers and poo were strewn randomly throughout the hall and Jake had a feather hanging out of the side of his mouth.

But on the plus side, my dad got all of the spiders out of the tree.